SEPARUH JIWAKU PERGI

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ
Peace be upon you


Ini adalah penyebab kenapa my blog lack of post recently. I loss my baby on 28/02/2016 night at my hometown. Siang tu I keluar early morning coz banyak tempat nak pergi. Tengahari ada call ayah tanya Ben and he said that Ben tak nak makan sebab I takde rumah.. Then when I'm home at night Ben dah takde :( Dia tak pernah pegi jauh and takkan pegi jauh so kebarangkalian besar dia di makan ular sawa.

But I do really hope yang perkara sedemikian tidak terjadi and biar lah Ben sebenarnya jalan jauh and sesat and now dia di jaga oleh orang lain. Solat hajat serta usaha sudah di lakukan tapi Ben masih takde berita.

The next two weeks lepas Ben hilang I balik kampung lagi sekali to check on him.. Pegi ke kampung sebelah sebelah, and tanya rumah ke rumah but still no any news. 4 kali Ben datang dalam mimpi tapi semuanya dalam keadaan hidup.. wallahualam. Jika Ben benar-benar sudah mati Mommy redha but sekiranya Ben masih hidup, pulang lah rumah Tok.. nanti Mommy ambil Ben ya.

Till today masih teringatkannya hari-hari tanpa henti, masih kesal, masih ralat dan masih menangis hampir setiap malam sebelum tidur. Terlalu rindu...

Ini adalah gambar-gambar terakhir Ben yang di ambil hari pertama sampai di kampung. 

       

Gambar Ben di gantung di setiap jalan masuk ke kampung. 

I remember the first day you woke me up at 5 oclock in the morning by touching my cheek with your paw. And you started doing the 'wake up calls' everyday without miss.

Hey, did you remember your favorite red pillow? Do you miss it?

The weeds are growing longer.. Where are you? I am waiting for you to mow the lawn together like our old days.

Oh..oh.. Did you remember "1...2...3...!!"? You chased the seed and brought it back to me. You love it so much huh?

Did you remember the last time your Dad rub your head gently? Yeah.. I know that you like him too right? But you've no chance to spend more time with him. I am truly sorry.. 

Where are you? What are you doing? How are you? What did you eat? Did you drink more water, Ben?
Will you come back?

Mommy miss you so much, Ben!